Always Watching by Chevy Stevens

Author:Chevy Stevens [Stevens, Chevy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction
ISBN: 9780312595692
Google: -4dU7PzSHJ8C
Amazon: 0312595697
Goodreads: 16044953
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 2013-06-17T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

On my way to the hospital Monday morning, I stopped at the organic coffee shop on the corner for my usual green tea infusion. As I turned to leave, paper cup in hand, I suddenly noticed Daniel sitting alone in the corner, his back to the wall as he read a paper. When he felt my gaze, he glanced up and with a small smile waved me over.

I said, “Good morning.” I was pleased to see him. I’d been thinking about him, wondering how he was faring. “I didn’t know you lived in this part of town.”

“I don’t.” He nodded in the direction of the hospital. “I had to sign some release forms.”

He might have released the hospital from responsibility for Heather’s death, but I still wished we’d been able to help her. Daniel looked like he needed some help himself. He’d lost weight since the funeral, his skin was pale, with dark shadows under his eyes, and it was clear he hadn’t shaved for days.

I said, “How are you doing, Daniel? You holding up okay?”

He shrugged, a sad, defeated motion.

I gestured to the chair across from him. “Would you like to talk for a moment?” He wasn’t my patient, and it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to treat him, but I didn’t feel right about walking away without offering some solace.

“Please.” There was a look of confusion in his eyes that I’ve often seen in the grief-stricken in the weeks that follow a death. When someone first passes, there’s the business of notifying people and planning a funeral, a focused activity.

Then there are no more distractions, only silence and loss.

After I sat, he said, “I’m back at work, and I make myself go for runs, but I just miss Heather so much.… I haven’t been able to pack up any of her things.”

I thought about Paul, how it took me months to give away his clothes, how I slept in his pajamas for years.

Daniel shook his head. “I shouldn’t be bothering you with any of that stuff. You probably have to go and do your rounds or whatever.”

“It’s okay. But I would suggest you speak to someone if you’re having a hard time. What about a grief-support group? There’s one that meets at the hospital. I can e-mail you a contact name.”

“No, I’m just finishing up this last job, then I’m going back to the center.”

It made sense that Daniel was being drawn to the comfort of the familiar, but I was still alarmed to hear his plan.

“You remember being happy at the center,” I said, “so you think going back there will help you escape the pain. Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts with this kind of loss. I wouldn’t want to see you carry this with you for the rest of your life. It’s hard to find true happiness when you have unresolved grief.”

Daniel said, “Everything just made sense in there, but out here…” He shook his head. “In there, I had a purpose. I was helping people.

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